i said earlier that i have been depressed. I have been really trying to think and figure out why i have feeling so crummy lately. Last night at Women's ministry i left early because i wasn't feeling good and now i realize that it was really just attack from the enemy because i really needed to be there. I decided to go to Bible Study this morning and I found out that last night was all about Unity. They said that there were testimonies of people feeling like they felt as if they were shunned and did feel welcome. I think a light went off because I have felt like a fish out of water for years. I was the one picked on in school constantly, I have never felt like i have ever really had a best friend, I have tried to fit in to different groups. I have gone to a couple different egroups at church and have tried different other groups and have felt like i fit in. I have really felt shunned. I hear about people getting together , calling and texting all the time. I have felt a part of a group in a long time. I think that has been part of problem lately. I also want to really just be used and transparent in my walk. I feel like every time I make commitment to make changes I something happens I screw up or circumstances make it hard for me to make changes. I take 1 step forward and two steps back. I guess I just feel burned out. I almost dont even want to try. The only reason I have gone to church is beacause of the kids. I am asking for your prayer, I am searching for healing in this area and for direction.