Thanks Jessica...

I was reading Jessica Dietzals blog and discovered this photography blog and it is great. Thank you for very much Jessica for sharing. Oh and I absolutely love that pic of Lillie.

Toucheed my heart.

Last night i attended our monthly ladies Ministry meeting at church. I really look forward to it every month because I really am blown away every month. This month was no different. I have been very stressed out and feeling a lot of unexplained hurt and heartache. The subject last night was Bitter root judgements and expectations. The light bulb went off and i told myself that i was ok and figured i would study that a little bit and did not really take it seriously enough. At the end of the night i was sitting there just kindof wanting to leave but i something was not letting me. Finally a friend got a up and gave a word and finally broke and raised my hand at the invitation of prayer. After quite a few crocidile tears I feel like I am empowered and encouraged and I have a long road of growth ahead of me but I am excited to get started.

Here is a video that was played loaded with encouragement:


Two of my favorite songs!!!!

Updates........

Ok i know ive been slacking...
I have a few updates....
1. We moved. It was very stressful but we have settled in quite nicely and the kids really like it here so far. I like the fact that we have the laundry room on the main floor. lol
2. We are still waiting on our tax return. I wish that i had more patience for this but i dont. I just want to get some things paid off.
3. I still going to school and i have 7 page paper to write by tomorrow. grrrr. I am not a writer.
4. We are still working on potty traing Noah and his behavior. I would like to go through Growing Kids Gods way very soon. God really has been dealing with me on this.
5. I have been learning a lot about myself in the last couple of weeks. Some good some not so good. I am praying about a few things and i really am just trying to get a grip on a few personal issues.
Prayer requests:
A friend is going through stressful time.
My aunt is battling cancer and is getting weaker day by day. She is a Believer and we are just praying for peace.
We are also continuing in prayer for the Jawhari Family and that Randa will return home safe.

Are you there?

I know your reading. My blog counter does not tell lies lol! This is the week for you to COME OUT AND MAKE YOURSELF KNOW! Leave me a comment on my blog. I'd love to know who you are and I'd like to read your blog to if you have one.
Also if you haven't yet, go over on the right and FOLLOW me! It's easy and you can do it even if you don't have a blog.
I look forward to meeting you all!

My mom sent me this and i think it is a real awesome message to all those who have lost so much last week in our community. It s also a good reminder to us who who needs a constant encouragement .
Way to go Logan!!!!

sad and disappointed....

My heart is hurting right now and I really dont know where to go but up. We are being tested and i really dont think i am passing i just going to feeling overwhelmed and upset. My flesh wants to give up hide in my bed and get lost in my tv. We were supposed to move this weekend and were put under the impression that our refund would be deposited today so we could move tomorrow. Well apperently the govt has a four day weekend and we wont have the deposit until tuesday. This pushes the move back to next saturday. i know that God has a plan and all. I am just questiong if the plan we made to move was what we are supposed to do.

I also have a have heart for Randa Jawhari and the families who lost the homes in the fenton apt fire.

please help...

my dear friend Diana's sister is missing. The family is natually very concerned for her well being and are praying for her safe return. please jion us in praying for Randa's safety and her reurn home to the family that loves her and peace for her family.

Randa Jawhari

age 42 100lbs 5'2"

We are also having a prayer vigil tonite for her at The Freedom Center in Fenton at 7:30.

Kelsey and her tooth!!!

Kelsey lost her first tooth last night. She was so excited. SHe has the tooth right next to it that is almost ready to come out too. Dr Anderson told her today that if she loses that one she can suck spagetti nooldes through the hole. She thought that was really cool so as soon as it comes i gues we are having spagetti!!!! yea.

Wordless Wednesday.....

Thank God for coupons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

busy and getting busier......

This weekend is the big move. We plan to move saturday, yes on valentines day and on my birthday (sunday) I will be unpacking. Please pray that everything goes as planned and we have good weather. We also have to get a set of bunkbeds and washer and dryer. If anyone knows of a reasonable set of either of these things please let me know. We also have a couple private things we are praying about that i will tell you about later.

I have been very busy lately and overwhelmed. I have been totally going on my own strenth not Gods. I am learning to give things up and leave them at the cross where they belong. i have had a song that has really been a source of strength.




Lyrics
Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side
From the album Over And Underneath

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child,
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?

Chorus:
Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands, at my side
They swallowed the grave, on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life

Chorus:

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
And I, I love you
And I want you to know
That I, I'll love you

Chorus:

Lyrics may not be reproduced without permission from the publisher.

encouragment...

Sunday pastor preched the best and i was very encouraging.. I think a lot of people really needed it. To hear it go to www.tfconline.org. I know that with everything going on here i have been more than overwhelmed.
here are a few scriptures that have encouraged me this week.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. --James 4:10
Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. --Ephesians 6:12-13
God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship him in spirit and in truth. --John 4:24
Sitting down, Jesus called the twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." --Mark 9:35
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. --Ephesians 4:2
You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call on you. Psalm 86:5
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. --Deuteronomy 6:4-5
Hope you are encouraged as well;)

Wordless Wednesday!!!!!!!!

Diva Whitney!!!

Happy Birthday Haley!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday my beautiful Baby girl!!!!!!

9 years old!!!! Where does the time go!

changes are coming.

We have made some big decisions recently. We are moving. We cannot afford this house anymore and as much as we hate it we have made the decision to downsize. This also means that home we have found is in a new school district and as much as i dislike the decision i am moving the kids to linden schools. our landlord does not want us to leave and to be perfectly honest i am not sure how i feel either. I am kanda excited about the change but I want to know that it is Gods will. I know we cannot stay hereand this is the only door that has opened. We have made financial mistakes before, BIG ones, and we are really tying to be careful. We cannot live like this anymore we really need to cut expenses and this is a big way. i REALLY JUST WANT TO BE SURE. I ask you to pray for wisdom and provision.

Wordless Wednesday.....

my week...........

i blogged earlier about being alone for the week. well I survived lol but it was a challenge. i woke up Monday with the worse migrain i have ever had. I could not lift my head lift my head off the pillow. I ended up calling a babysitter and a friend to help me get the kids from school. Thank you Sarah, Lori and Audrey. i was really hoping to feel better on tuesday but I felt worse. i called another friend(Thanks Becky) to help get the kids to school and then called the Doctor. I got an appiontment that afternoon and worked up the strength to go. I was given imitrex and it did help take the edge off a so i could get dinner and a couple things done but I really was not feeling well. i shut off all the lights and tvs and turned on the worship at 8pm and we all crawled in my bed and took a good nights rest. (at least the kids did)I decided to keep Noah and Kelsey home with me on Wednesday since i still did not feel good. My mom came and helped and i also went to the chiropractor and that really made a world of difference to. I was able to go to youth. although that was loud and I underestimated how good i felt by th time it was all over I went home and crashed. wow what a week so far. my mom and I had good time on thursday even though i was still very weak. I was able to get the kids home and clean up the house. I was really excited just to go to Bible Study. and to my surprise Terry came home Thursday Night!!!!!!!!!!!!

a little part of my story....

I just had to write apaper about why i decided to go back to school. In it i gave a part of my testimony and i thought i would share it.

I am continually asking myself why I bother going to school because I do not have the best record of accomplishment. I was an average student in high school. I could have been better but I did not apply myself. I was to busy fighting off bullies and trying to fit in anywhere I could. I regret it now because I really would have had a better self-image and maybe I could have a better choice of colleges. Of course I had I not made the choice I did I would not have met husband and would not have had the experiences that make me who I am today.

After High School, I went to Baker College and decided that I was going to reinvent myself even though I really had no idea how or what I wanted to do. I really just wanted out of my parent’s house and live my life somehow. I started the party lifestyle and I went to class because I had to. Once again, I did not apply myself. After feeling like I had nothing or no one to live for I gave up and started partying with whoever happened to cross my path at that moment. This leads me to how I met my husband. He was a gang leader and I happened to be at a party where he was only I was with a friend of his. Eventually we ended up as a couple lived an interesting life in the gang. To make a long story short my parents found out about my life and his and tried an intervention. It partially worked and not only for me but for him too. We both got out of the lifestyle and got clean. We were married and started going to church where we both have devoted our lives. We now have five children and they are five reasons I am going back to school.

Another motivation for returning to school is that I have learned through the years many lessons about life and have learned that the trials I have faced and the choices I have made are now the backbone of whom I am. They are necessary for the future in my chosen career and my compassion for those I serve. As a Christian, I am called to love the unlovely and serve others before I serve myself. I have a passion for children and teenagers. I have a heart for children who do not have anyone to turn to and who feel they have no hope. I am going to school to get my degree in social work so I can help those in need. My ultimate dream is to work within the foster care and adoption system or with at risk teens. I can volunteer in these areas but to make it my work is where my heart is and would be a dream come true. I can not achieve this dream unless I go to school.

I am determined to use the experiences and skills I have learned to succeed in my dreams and further my education. I have the support of my family and a God given desire to pursue my dream. I am prepared to use my time wisely and make necessary sacrifices to achieve my goals. I intend to study and show my kids the value of what an education can do for you.



This is just a small part of of our story. God has been so good and merciful and I thank Him for all he has Done and is doing still.

on my own.....

well starting tomorrow i am on my own for the week. Terry is going to be in Grand Rapids for the week. Im not sure i am ready for that because i am very overwhelmed trying to figure out things and keeping up with my busy family. I am joining the club of wives that have traveling husbands. any tips?

my new favorite song..

i think this is my anthem. it really explains my heart.

I give you the stool.....

i WAS JUST ON GOD TUBE WATCHING VIDEOS AND THIS video really struck me. I was kinda thinking of my earlier post about the new year.






My decision is that I want to fully give Jesus the stool!!!!!

picture overload

looking forward and reflecting back

I am so ready for a new year.
my to do list consists of
Growing up in Jesus
Give more, Serve more
Growing Kids Gods way..... A must
work on my marriage and myself
get healthy or healthier
a part time job
a better budget and learn to be smart with what we have
get a mentor/accountability partner
go to the doctor and get all my girl tests done
get my thyroid issue under control
I am really looking forward to making some changes for the new year. I am looking at this as kindof a fresh start.
I want some serious changes in my and my family. We are making some very real decisions and coming to a couple of hard decisions and realizations. Pastor talked on Sunday about change and moving in His steps and not our own. He talked about a few things that forced some changes in some minstries. I kinda feel that we are being forced into some of these same things. It is both scary and exciting to see where the next steps are going to lead.

the last two years have been a test of faith and have brought things out in me that i really did not like. I have learned some things and I am still working on some of these things.
we have been through job loss, poor decisions, seperations, a tornado and a few other things that have made me really want to give up and ask why? and to be honest i still have those times.
It is in these moments i am reminded that God is on the throne and I am his child. I dont need to know why, I just need to trust and know that I am loved.

Note to self....

next year do not buy a CHRISTmas tree from Home Depot. no matter how cheap they are.

we ended up with a true Charlie Brown tree after the third day.

It stopped drinking water. every time it was touched the needles fell off.

We were not able to use the lights because of the fire hazard.

So needless to say we took it out CHRISTmas night.

Terry took the dustpan and scooped 10 scoops of needles off the floor. (thank goodness for hardwood floors)

sooo sweet......

i love this little one.

3 years old....hmmmm

he is my challenge. He is my test of patience.

There are days i wonder where i went wrong as a parent.

I watch shows like nanny 911 and supernanny and wonder if i would make the show. and then I realize im not the only one that the only one that is climbing the walls with screaming kiddos.

This is why I cherish these pics...

He cracks me up. He climbs on the fridge and calls it his castle.

hmmmmm.